THE RECOVERY PERIOD (2022)
I tried to lift small things around the house and do small things. I was very weak and still only weighed about 39kg
My Primary Sclerosis Cholangitis Recovery
I tried to lift small things around the house and do small things. I was very weak and still only weighed about 39kg. The one morning I went in to my garage and started my fitness, get stronger journey. A week ago I had asked my wife to please get resistant belts as weight would be to heavy for me. I also found my wife’s pink 2kg weight which I started using together with the belts.
The belts and 2 kg weights lasted about 2 months. I started to get some muscle and asked for stronger belts and my friend wade lent me his dumb bell.
I started lifting anything I could find and kept eating. There were moments were I just wanted to not do anything but knew I must.
I made up my mind that I was only going to focus on positive things in life. Things that made me happy so on the bad days were I just wanted to do nothing, I ate and just read positive and motivational stuff.
I watched bodybuilding and motivational video’s, gymed in my garage, went to outpatient therapy and ate a lot of healthy food for a year. I stopped smoking and drinking, I struggled with cognitive issues that I am still to this day trying to understand and work through.
I tried to lift small things around the house and do small things. I was very weak and still only weighed about 39kg. The one morning I went in to my garage and started my fitness, get stronger journey. A week ago I had asked my wife to please get resistant belts as weight would be to heavy for me. I also found my wife’s pink 2kg weight which I started using together with the belts.
The belts and 2 kg weights lasted about 2 months. I started to get some muscle and asked for stronger belts and my friend wade lent me his dumb bell.
I started lifting anything I could find and kept eating. There were moments were I just wanted to not do anything but knew I must.
I made up my mind that I was only going to focus on positive things in life. Things that made me happy so on the bad days were I just wanted to do nothing, I ate and just read positive and motivational stuff.
I watched bodybuilding and motivational video’s, gymed in my garage, went to outpatient therapy and ate a lot of healthy food for a year. I stopped smoking and drinking, I struggled with cognitive issues that I am still to this day trying to understand and work through.
Going to Outpatient Sessions
I had sessions at least once a week. Less frequent as time goes on. The professionals there are amazing people. They care and want to help. I must have changed physios 3 times in this hospital. All were very good at their job.
The sessions really helped especially because I spent most of my time in doors, going out to see people that are more or less in the same boat as you are quite nice. We all have different illnesses but the surrounding circumstances are the same.
We would do art and craft work this helped our small motor neuron skills. I enjoyed it actually and the other patients were also cool. I was the youngest at the time. Funny how age is not even looked at when a massive trauma has happened. We all shared something in common and just wanted to be ok again.
Confidence or the Lack Thereof
My confidence was very low and still is. I am working on it every day. I watch a lot of motivational videos, I gym a lot but I am still trying new ways to increase my confidence. I play a lot with my kids, it’s the only way I would sort of be forced to move in way I don’t normally move.
My face looked very gaunt when I came out of the hospital. I use to scar myself looking in the mirror sometimes hahahahah.
Gyming helped me put the weight on. I smoked weed to eat because I just didn’t want to and the weed stimulated my hunger.
Meeting People in General
I don’t like people, odd if you think I used to be a sales person. It’s not that I dislike people, maybe more their habits. One thing is for certain, something has changed cognitively. I think things are more apparent now. I realize that time is short and to be honest, I do not want to waste any of it talking to fake people and people that are going to waste my time.
Why should I entertain somebody else’s crap and wate air listening to them. People know what they are doing. Manipulating certain situations and people to get what they want.
Exerciseee
I remember the first time I started to gym. Wow things were so hard. My wife bought a grey resistant belt and I would use it for everything.
I was doing biceps, triceps, crunches, squats and all this while trying to eat as much as possible. It started to set in, that this is going to be a very long road to recovery.
I try gym at least 5 times a weak. I do a lot of stretching and meditation. It has really helped and I have a lot more patience, I think. Working out has helped me forget. I have goals that keep me focused and working out gets me in the mood to accomplish the goals I set out. There are bad days, but it is not all doom and gloom. Working out keeps me motivated and I believe my mind starts settling. I have a lot to still process and this is just a way that keeps me going.
Exercise is going to motivate you and the positive attribute is looking better than you did before. If the opposite happens you are definitely doing something wrong.
Every day, I kept on saying to myself:” I need to do this”. If I didn’t do anything, I wouldn’t get anywhere.
If you have already crossed the finish line twice, why look back? What scares you? Nothing
How People Treat You
Baby is what comes to mind. Not with everyone but some. It is understandable. Patronizing with every little thing. I understand people are compassionate and caring but some just take it too far.
I have not stepped into the business word as much, maybe felt the water a bit. They are just happy to see me. I will be honest; many clients have become friends and some even family. People are focused on what they need to get done to survive, get on top or just make ends meet.
Everyone is living their own life and don’t really care about what you had for breakfast two days ago. Life goes on and right so. Sure, there will be time to mourn should the inevitable happens sooner than expected, but life goes on. We must know that.
What I Want To Do
I have goals that I have set out and I work on them every day. I have many achievable goals that I set for the week, the year and in 5 years. As mentioned before, I have put my toes in the water as far as being a rep goes. Not sure if that is what I want to do again. Beggars can’t be choosers but why would I want to do what ultimately put me here, in my opinion.
The smoking, the drinking just the bad habits, late nights, early mornings, dealing with other people’s problems. So, life was very stressful and I think I tried to handle it all by myself. My lifestyle, the work, the pressure, just bad lifestyle choices.
I want to let people know that they must speak up and if they are right not to back down. Lying on your back for 6 months paints a pretty picture about certain lifestyle choices I made. All I want is for my kids to grow up in a better world.
